Its been awhile since I've really sat down and blogged. I mean, actually blogged about what is going on in our lives these days. So... just to forewarn you, this will be long, and probably a bit boring, but there must be someone out there who cares... right?
As most of you know, and I've probably mentioned before, Matt and I moved in with my parents at the end of June, and boy, as much of a blessing as it is, it is certainly hard. My dad, who was sober for 2 1/2 years recently fell off that wagon right around the time we moved in and it has been a struggle ever since. I know falling off is part of his program, it always happens at least once, but the hardest part is convincing him to get back on. Its really difficult to be supportive of someone who is drunk all the time, and doesn't really think he's done anything wrong. What is most sad about this to me is that, there aren't a whole lot of people outside of the family that know, and its really hard for my mom because she's felt like she's had to pretend everything is still perfect while her whole world crashes at her feet. Its so hard to watch her have to deal with this all over again. Then there are the comments from certain people about how happy we all must be now that we're all sealed in the temple and "Craig's not drinking anymore" and they just really have no idea. I feel like we took 1 step forward, moving in with my parents to save money, but two steps back having to live with a drunk. Don't get me wrong, I love him, I do. I know that this has been especially hard on Matt who is not only very independent, but really looked up to my father. Anyways, moving along...
Matt is still in school, and on to taking some super fun classes. He recently had a field trip to the EA Video Game place to see what was all involved in making a game and LOVED it, working for a gaming company is I think, where he really wants to be when he's finished with school. Though he takes classes on his "weekend" so he doesn't really have a day off, he is really enjoying school and thank goodness, because otherwise he'd never get it done.
I just recently started a new job being a nanny again... I KNOW, I said I would never do it again after my last experience, but here I am eating my words. Its for a really great family, the little girl, Jade is 7 months, and super adorable and the most easy baby to take care of. She hardly ever really cries, I think she's cried for me twice in the last 2 weeks and both were because she got startled. The other little boy that I watch is Boston, and he can be a handful, because he's a bit older, but he's a doll. I make double what I made at the airport and so that should be able to help us get our own place again soon. I'm really thinking about taking a trip out to NY soon so Matt can see his family, and we also want to go up to Seattle to see my Grandpa. So, hopefully we'll be able to do that now that I have a more flexible job and am making more money. Anyways, this is all I can muster for now, hopefully the next post will find us a bit happier...
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Can't wait to get buddy passes! How fun would it be to go on a trip together to NYC? We'll have to go during a not so busy time to make sure we get on though. Or we can always drive to vegas since there are less crew members flying out of there on standby! :D
ReplyDeleteI KIND of understand what you are going through with your dad. It's definitely not the same situation, but similar in principal. A few months before Nate was born my mother in law started to get into her Sufi religion and took her records of the church. Although I believe that it has truly been good for her because she has had a traumatic life and a few psychological problems (bipolar) it has been extremely hard on Phil. She was his pillar in the church and with that pillar gone it's been harder for him to hold up the ceiling. It's been a really rough time seeing him go through this for the past 2 years and it gets better and worse at times. Just when you said that Matt looks up to him it reminded me of that. Phil looked to his mom's example in the church. He looks up to my parents now because they're his only spiritual parents and it's hard because their political opinions are so different that sometimes it makes my dad's credibility seem less when it comes to spiritual things because Phil's political opinion is so deeply ingrained with his religious beliefs. It's definitely a tough situation!
On that note, my mother-in-law used to be an alcoholic. She's been sober for over 20 years now and was a member of AA and sponsored a ton of people. After that long she still needs to go back every once in a while. Addiction is definitely not the easiest thing to get rid of! I'm sorry that your parents are struggling over this! I hope things get better!
I understand what you are talking about with your dad. My dad had some issues a few years back but not with alcohol. It tore my mother and the family apart because of his decisions and I havent been able to forgive him or move past the poor choices that he has made that destroyed our "eternal" family. He also, didnt think anything was wrong with what he did, which is RETARDED!! He got CAUGHT and REFUSED to make things right with my mom and us kids. He put us threw hell to say the least. I know it is tough. Especially the "lets put on a happy face" or how to respond to peoples comments about how wonderful our family is.
ReplyDeleteJust know, and I am sure you do already know this, that is DOES get better! It may take some time but it will. Just remember to support him. I hope family life gets better for you. It really is tough. Hang in there and know you can always call me! =)
I love you, Barb! I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. I know (from Brent) that alcohol and addiction can be extremely hard for the whole family. Like your other friends have said, it will get better... it just may take some time. I'm glad you can be there for your mom and sisters right now (and they can be there for you too!)
ReplyDeletePS- I didn't know you moved in with them! Maybe I should go to church one week at that ward, just to say hi! (it's been too long... we need to play!)
Guys, thanks so much for your support, I really appreciate it so much! And Michelle, yes you should come visit the old ward... and we should get together again!
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